• ravelry patterns
• oreos
• nathan fillion
• cantaloupe
• pizza
• going to bed early
• big blue

• where the wild things are soundtrack
• cantaloupe
• birthdays
• my hair
• getting good sleep
• croutons
• ice cream cake
• cold weather
• red rocket ale
• punkin ale
• talking to daniel

• relator by pete yorn and scarlett johannson
• pumpkin pancakes
• never not funny live in vancouver
• womp womp
• mad men
• cheese snack
• sex
• recording uncast
• pumpkin beer

• prepping/cooking food
• cinnamon being a cuddle monster
• cheese for dinner
• coffee
• bagel sammies
• never not funny at maximum fun con
• french fries
• sleepytime joking with daniel

• morning cuddles
• mika
• coffee
• takling with Rhi about mom gangs
• thrift store book shopping
• cleaning out my purse
• beer run at Bev Mo
• gin gimlets
• flash forward
• imagining dahonay as a roller derby girl

• red sexy shirt
• iced coffee
• Dear Starchild http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdl7UAOuPL4
• Sushi
• Cinnamon giving kisses the moment I saw her this morning
• the fact it is Friday
• talking with Rhi
• Comedy Death Ray Radio w/ Jimmy Pardo
• hanging out with friends
• Punkin Ale

• itunes 9 finally working properly with new patch
• buttered toast
• heaven’s gate grimace
• iced coffee
• sex
• new show: community
• talking with Rhi
• hubbie calming me down
• Scarlett Johannson and Pete Yorn  album, the break-up
• we are golden by mika

• how silver earrings, purple shirt, and lacy red underwear can make me feel sexy
• sandwiches
• starbucks iced coffee with milk
• sex
• football team “single ladies” dance on glee

Didn’t do much cooking this weekend. Got my hair did and hung out with my bff. So cooking got pushed to the side.

However on football Sunday hubbie and I made breakfast together:

Breakie

Hubbie made his famous potatoes with a mixture of russet and sweet potatoes. He also made brown sugar bacon.

I made scrambled eggs with herbed chevre and corn.

All of it good. Esp the eggs.

For the last two years hubbie and I have been trying to have a baby. Well not trying too hard. We mostly have been just having sex without condoms or any type of birth control. About 2 years ago I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). Which means that my hormones are all out of whack and my ovaries might look like swiss cheese. I have stopped getting my periods a while ago and they sometimes come along but mostly stay dormant. I thought yay awesome but knew when it came time to baby making it would be a problem and it has been.

The doctor put me on Metformin which is a drug that is usually prescribed to people with borderline diabetes but for some reason it helps with PCOS. And it did. I was getting periods on a regular basis. However I sucked at remembering to take them and the side effects were so meh that I often forgot to take them. So I have been lapse on medication for a year.

Since the baby making trying and the lapse on my meds my 30th birthday has come and gone. I had serious baby want. Really bad. Everytime I saw pregnant women I was on the verge of tears. Anywhere that had an abundance of babies made me sad. I was crying most days. I got better over time and after my 30th birthday came and went I realized my goal of having babies by the time I was 30 was arbitrary. Life doesn’t always go how  you planned it.

I am also not 100 percent sure I want to have kids. I know I could take care of a child and enjoy it. I have figured that out since having Cinnamon.  I see my friends and Daniel’s cousin have babies and know that any kid I have won’t be in the same age range to play with them and it hurts. I know I could be better to my body and maybe be able to have  child but I also know that even if I did everything right I would still probably not have a child.  It is a hard thing to figure out. Will I regret never having a kid? Or will I live a happy life without children? If I wait two years will it be too late for me to try?

I have decided to take a year or two to have fun with my hubbie and friends. Take this time to be healthier and take the meds the doctor feels is best for me. I need to treat myself well before I can take care of a child. Hopefully I will be more clear on what I want to do before it is too late.