Truth from the lol cat

via icanhascheezburger.com

Word

Tings I learned today

1. If you use these two phrases in the write context it will be one of the funniest things ever: "the prophecy is true!" and "it achieved a consciousness".

               Examples-   Me:  I just spilt swifter juice on the floor Bob: The prophecy is true! 
                                 Me: What happened to the cheese in the fridge Sally: It achieved a consciousness and I had to kill it.

2. My cat is a teenager– She plops down on the couch with a huge kitteh sigh (a single lone meowish noise) and expects me to pay attention to her.

3. I am loving everything that Paul F. Tompkins does. He is hilarious

4. Hammerhead with some half and half is an awesome drink.

5. I'm just stunnin' with my love glue gunning.

Beer, Boredom, and Sloth

Beer(s) of the moment:
Rubicon IPA and Green Flash Bourbon Barrel Double Stout.  The Rubicon I quickly drank that baby down and wanted more. They really need to 6 pack that beer. Perfect session beer. The Green Flash Stout is hoppy, alcohol  and tastes like butterscotch coffee. Super yummy.

Bored Bored Bored:
House was  boring to me. I realize I want more interesting Patients of the Week and less lets psychoanalyze House. It is boring where everyone feels the need to tell House why he is really doing what he does. Happy that he got what he wanted but you know he is just going to fuck it up. Hopefully with strippers and ice cream.

Glee with NPH wasn't as awesome as I hoped.  They are both audtioning for Les Miz and no Confrontation or any Les Miz song duet between NPH and MM?  The "I Dreamed a Dream" was phenomenal and I admit I wet myself during dream on. But I wanted more NPH and less Artie. Esp Dream a little Dream. So dull

AVN awards. You think I like Porn , I like awards how could this not be awesome. Its not awesome at all. Its a train of whores in bad dresses. The only posititives:

• Evan Stone and a whore in slankets and the whore exclaiming "I can't find my pussy".
• Finding out there is Cosby parody porn and that it won an award
• Intrigued by Sasha Grey and kind of want to see her stuff.  

This is not a home its a menagerie:
My bff always jokes that her hubbie is what keeps her from being a crazy cat lady. I finally understood that the other day when I found another type of animal I wanted as a pet. I realized I wouldn't have 10 cats. I would have a menagerie of animals living in my house. Hopefully in harmony. Luckily my hubbie and the laws of California keeps me from doing this.  This weeks animal of want:
The sloth, so cute and always smiling:

<p>Meet the sloths from Amphibian Avenger on Vimeo.</p>

Business Time:
I am going to try to post more and I am also going to do song discovery posts. I tend to listen to as many covers as I can of a song I really like. So I am going to give you a list of the covers that are worth a listen to of some of my favorite songs.
Also going to try to focus more on Church of Awesome related posts and some good lists.

Tags: Beer, Menagerie, Television

Eww. Yes that is meatballs and cups of cream cheese on a pizza

via eater.com

is that on the pizza or next to it? Seriously gross and is this proof that the people in the inventing lab are smoking pot?

From: Pizza Hut’s Crown Crust Pizza Delivers Meatballs, Cream Cheese Bombs : WTFood : Eater National

I found a new word!

via asofterworld.com

The only way this would be more awesome

via failblog.org

is if it were those creepy Old Navy Mannequins. They need to be punched and then melted down for something evil like plastic uzis.

Come picnic with me

via notmartha.org

I promise that if I ever get a good size of people to picnic with me, I will make some sort of cobbler like this.

Needs to be stained glass in the Church of Awesome

via etsy.com

Dinosaurs and Iconic 80s characters. Amazing

I learned tings! (4/9-4/11)

• Boobies for birthdays is a trend that is catching on
• 17 different beers in one night might be one too many (mind you 2oz pours)
• I can have a good party with food without cooking
• Mixing horrible craft beer with horrible malt energy drink makes a tasty beverage
• A selection of girl scout cookies and leftover Easter candy is an acceptable dessert for a party
• When white people get drunk they debate things like David Byrne vs Elvis Costello
• Even pounding lots of water, 17 beers will give you a nice hangover
• Lemon Curd pancakes are the bomb
• Roasted potatoes with brown sugar and mustard are even better
• The worst hangover can be mitigated with mimosas and Skull Crusher mountain
• Rumspring.me is the best site to ask Amish related questions (expect a delay in response)
• Coffee milk shakes and sweet potato fries at Studio Diner rock
• Sometimes you just have to look past a cute boy’s horrible spelling and grammar
• Naked sleeping is awesome
• Early morning cuddles are the awesome
• Getting up to shower and be slightly productive then crawling back into bed is amazing
• Spending most of Sunday in bed reading and napping is even more amazing
• My thug can be a gentle girl when needed.
• Panera dates are so relaxing and  comforting
• Coffee Bean and Tea leaf’s Café Vanilla is super yummy
• 20 minutes after the Kitteh lands I am mentally useless
• My boob is a great ipod holder                   
• Spicy cheesy bread is nommy
• Jamie Oliver wants you to cook better but really isn’t cheap about it
• Rockstars take many forms and even though they may not seem strong, they will surprise you beyond all belief.

 

I learned tings (4/2-4/4)!

Things I learned this weekend

• Grilled cheese and tomato soup is the best combo ever
• If you wait long enough, douches will eventually piss people off enough to get what they deserve
• Kettel One vodka is better than most but still needs something to cut the pure alcohol taste
• No amount of vodka will make Spice World good. It isn’t even good for the camp factor
• Victoria Beckham used to be more attractive
• Bisexual Lesbian chat rooms are full of old dykes
• Don’t like Opeth, Kind of like Pantera. Also hate Lamb of God
• My first born or first bunny will be named Mokdok
• When I get drunk I talk like one of my friends
• Finding a new, unexpected, Laugunitas beer can make a dizzy girl happy
• Alpine Brewery’s Stout is good. Actually pretty much any beer from Alpine Brewery is good.
• There really isn’t too much bukkake talk
• At least in my dreams (and prolly in real life) if someone talks enough Tori Amos to me, I will let you do dirty things to me
• The guilt you feel that you are able to fall back asleep after morning sex while your partner has to go to work only lasts until you shut your eyes.
• With Buffy, Angel, Firefly, Doctor Who, and Torchwood available on Netflix (via Xbox) I will never see outside again.
• Earthquakes scare thugs and Canadians. And sometimes hardened Californians. J 
• You can still rock hard singing “Run to the Hills” while wearing bunny ears
• Pavlovas are really an awesome and fairly easy dessert to make
• The key to good roast chicken is lots of salt
• There is a fine line between Cher and Eddie Vedder
• I love singing “Tom Sawyer”
• Ten-Fidy is an amazingly awesome beer.